Post Valentine’s Day Blues
The hidden secret of Valentine’s Day and the blues that follow.
The pressures of shopping, buying the right gift, cards and candies. It is no doubt a stressor on the lover. And what happens if we forget, well that’s a whole level away of defiling the marriage and the sacred vow to keep each other happy. But what happens the day after?
Is the magic gone? Does the hangover over power the heart? Is the love stronger? Was the mission successful?
Does it matter if you are in a relationaship or not?
Some History first.
Before we answer some of these questions late take a trip back to one of the origin stories of Valentine’s Day. Pre-Christianity. Where red was more idolized by blood and fertility rather than hearts and love. Thanks to The Pioneer Woman for some of this information, author Micaela Bahn shared the likely bloody origins of Valentine’s Day that is soaked with skin stripped from a sacrificial goat drenched in blood and ceremoniously whipped against the skin of women. All in the name of being more fertile in the coming days and months. If this sounds a bit sadomasochistic, priests and men whipping women to produce more, more boys probably. The art of love knows no bounds. The rumors are that this was consensual, but I imagine the desire for boys overpowered any singular personal desire of the woman.
Taking one step further, many countries celebrate in kind with a whipping ceremony, where men whip women to help with fertility. The afterglow of these days must be crazy. I read that late the whipper gets buckets of cold water dumped on them. Tit for tat I guess.
Picture supplied by vice.com in an article written by Dr. Kate Lister
The morning after might have a sore bruise or two but is the relationaship stronger? A Pew Research article mentions that “a majority of single Americans aren’t looking for romance on Valentine’s Day - or any other time” - so no relationship strength built up there. Thank you Katherine Schaeffer for that article. Another article, by today.yougov.com, Jamie Ballard shared some interesting data that “one in 20 believes the best course of action is to break up on the holiday itself, while 18% believe you should wait until after Valentine’s Day” - Wow! It’s sounding like there is a good chance that the effort put into the holiday might end in disaster.
So maybe the Valentine Blues are real, and The Healthy Man is here to help. Check out some tools to avoid the blues:
Be the man in the bedroom she wants!
Be the man in the relationship she needs!
Be the leader in the marriage she desires!
Other ways to avoid the blues is to take the advice of experts. Madison Missina (Australian Adult Actress and podcast co-host of The Prude and the Portstar) shares that using this time, day, season to seduce your partner is a calendar reminder to focus on love. Her way to celebrate is by “spoiling her Valentine with pepperoni pizza and a marathon of tv shows and her finest lingerie (and love making)” - her key is to “tailor the spoiling to something that the two of you can really enjoy”. - sounds like pretty sound advice.
Avoiding the Valetine’’s Blues at home is more about accountability. As men we are often seen just as sex crazed boys and rarely are we thought of as sensitive and longing for attention. Our hard appearance on the outside doubles down on that image of callousness and may send the wrong message of need. If we do not share the likes and dislikes with our partners special occasions may not achieve the expected level of attention. Madison brings up a grat point, the day should be tailored to the person you are sharing it with. Going generic will get you generic results.
Counter that with going big or going special. Feedback will be our guide on this journey. Failure and blues are signals that we need to be more specific to our partners needs. The payoff will be a deeper connection and year long benefits.
