Quiet Time Is Required Again!
Silent moments are gone but not forgotten – and THEY should return.
That smell of cherry and the cool smoke, the temperment to see the bowl through to the end.
Those days where grandpa would grab a drink and go sit in the den.
Remember the den. That cool room that wasn’t the dining room and asn’’t the living room. The one where we better be good and not touch anything room.
That sacred place where the men went after dinner to do men things.
I find that now in my late 40’s (I’m actually 50, but I have not embraced the move yet) that I enjoy my library as my quiet place and although it is my space it’s not the sacred quiet time I once remember.
Why not?
I seem to remember that distinct smell of pipe, or bourbon, maybe it was both. I remember that it wasn’t color matched to the house. I remember the door usually remained closed. When I was allowed in, there were periods where I was not supposed to talk but instead just sit in the quiet.
Are we missing these places as men?
The term “man cave” gets thrown around here and there but I fear most men do not have a place they can call their own. But maybe it’s not a specific place we are looking for but rather it’s the quiet reflection. A sacred time of day possibly, that lets you gather and review your thoughts. After the kids go to bed, after work but before dinner, on Sundays, that mental space caught in time, blocked off and supported by your significant other as a do not disturb place.
I have recently been reminded of this, as I discuss with my coworker, about a hobby of his, smoking a pipe. This is one of his pastimes that has been past down to him. A collection of pipes and tobacco that resist the passage of time and reminds us that we have to be patient and enjoy the deep dive into our minds every once and awhile, AND the hundred or so pipes he has.
Of course you have to have a favorite!
And a conveniently assembled kit significantly enhances your hobby, making it much easier and more enjoyable for practicing while on the move.
Behavioral wise I find the idea of mental work intimidating and enjoyable all at once. The idea that we may have to review our days and decide if we did good, or bad, and how to remedy that. Most people I fear, avoid this reflection. It can lead to unwanted thoughts of disappointment. Past memories cropping up within the thought as our brains are wired for memory and if there is a synapse hooked to a memory we will see a past version. Those can be painful and preservation of balance will crop up. These thoughts are not easily managed and will stir some serious emotions, a situation that has been trained into us from a young age to avoid.
I’m wondering if the lack of reflection time is detrimental to our mental health. I see my kids on devices and being stimulated non stop and down time, quiet time makes them squeamish and “bored”.
My hypothesis then is this, we need quiet reflection time to allow the mind to heal wounds, piece together challenges, look for solutions, communicate on a cellular level the benefits of peace.
The cooperating hypothesis is, that these traditional habits of reflection require a multi-sense input. In the example of the den, and enjoying a pipe there, is a bridge for each sense – smelling the flavored tobacco, holding the pipe, the warmth of the bowl, the sight of the puffed smoke, and the crackle of the ember. This is a critical piece of the reflection as it attaches a synapse to every memory, making reflection, recollection, and then decision/action a thought provoking endeavor. A meaningful endeavor.
Adding a favorite pipe will become a normal thing for different settings.
As cool as this hobby is to me I’m not advocating taking up smoking to solve your problems, but I am suggesting taking up reflective time.
On the off chance that you do take up the pastime, let me share a whole subculture of details to embrace. Just as with any hobby, the more you know, the more you don’t know.
Although new blends come out often time tested favorites are still on the shelf.
Starting with tobacco. The selection is diverse and distinct to each practitioner. Its not the typical cigarette tobacco, this is texture and smell dependant on the smoker. I remember I had a cherry flavor tobacco when I was trying this out. And shopping for the tobacco of choise was have the fun. Walking into a pipe shop had a feeling of belonging, like you have a purpose and people respect your commitment to the group.
Tobaccos have cool names too – Maple Shadows II, Brown Sugar Flake, Crumble Kake Phantom Privateer, Hogshead Bourbon Barrel, Plum Rum, Small Batch Sun Bear Tupelo, and so many more. This list is but a fraction of the tobacco to choose from. Be intentional in choosing your tobacco. Listen to the Blenders in the store you choose. Taste, smell, cut, burn, after taste, are all variations for you to experience. Next step, try a small amount and continue to try new flavors or profiles until you find a favorite.
If you lose the tin or bag its shipped in it’s not a problem.
The longevity of most tobaccos makes storage not only simple but also a hassle-free experience. This quality allows enthusiasts to maintain their collections over extended periods without worrying too much about the preservation of the product.
The tobacco has an individual appreciation and a longer shelf life than other tobaccos and as the picture shows can be stored for years and still be good.
Part of this article and blog is to help individuals find their purpose, but more importantly find peace.
So, step one, find a space in you home or environment and make it your own. Keep your reflection tools in a handy place and dive into making the five senses a part of the experience. A man without a passion and a place to sort those memories will suffer.
Before you know it, your hobby will expand to include other enjoyable pastimes that require a bit of patience. As a dedicated book lover, I'm contemplating the idea of listening to an engaging audiobook while savoring a rich and flavorful tobacco.
I've been thinking about starting this intriguing series for quite some time now. Closing my eyes and sitting in my form fitting chair, I can almost inhale the delightful smell of cherry wood surrounding me, as it transports my mind to a whole new place filled with endless possibilities and ideas.
The cool thing is the cost of admission to the culture is low. The price of not having a reflective mental practice is dangerous. The reactive thoughts we all have to endure while working through our days puts our brains on a constant defense. Sitting in a rocker on a porch while smelling the flavored tobacco while the warm bowl can initiate the relaxation habits and put your mind into state of processing and filing.
Entrance costs can be as low as accepting a pastdown pipe and tools to under $50 for all the necessary parts, pipe filters, 3 in 1 pipe tool, pipe brush, tobacco, and a lighter. Iwan Ries & Co. is a great resource to view the lifestyle and details that can make pipe smoking individual to you.
Finally, find your tribe. All men want one. Enjoy the inclusive nature and the reflective quiet of just sitting with someone and smoking a pipe. Sometimes you don’t even need to talk at all. Just give the head nod, offer some tobacco and accept the answer. Enjoy a bowl together, talk, maybe not, then leave. Allow the conversation to happen naturally.
This hobby lets people enjoy time alone or connect with others who share their interests. This creates a sense of community. The lively culture around this hobby offers many chances for involvement and personal growth. Be warned, a silent man may not want to have a chatty Cathy break that silence.
The impetus of this blog was to get some information out, and on paper, and it turns out there might be someone in your own private group that smokes a pipe. Start listening and exploring your group to learn new information. All these pictures were supplied by a friend that pursues the lifestyle and the art of reflective time.
The smokey air, the smells, the time with your thoughts may cause some to find things in themselves they didn't know was there. Beware, be open, our existence is more than working eight hours a day.
